Second Year Down and Counting….

Second Year Down and Counting….

One phone call, three words, and my world changed forever two years/24 months/720 days/17,280 hours/1,036,800 minutes ago. That brings us to today marking my second year without Big Bubby. I will forever remember the call that in a split moment, changed my world forever. Although at the time we didn’t know exactly what had happened, but became all too aware within hours that our precious Big Bubby was gone from our lives forever.

My first year was such a blur with all that I was doing to numb the insurmountable pain that I was trying so desperately to run from, this year has been worse. It was so much easier to stay numb to all of this pain and not care what others thought. To stay numb to the immense pain the loss of a child holds. Waking every morning, only to come to realize it will be another day in hell, another day of feeling the emptiness of Big Bubby being gone, knowing you won’t hear your baby’s voice ever again. Also, waking and knowing, there are people who need you still here on earth and who want to help guide you as easily as possible through this personal hell a mother goes through when you lose a child.

While they are not first’s by date, they are firsts for me in a way.  Continue reading “Second Year Down and Counting….”

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The Sound of Silence

A few weeks ago, my husband and I were out to eat at a restaurant that typically isn’t known for a loud atmosphere. On this night though, to me, it seemed VERY loud. While I know that I am much more sensitive to all my senses now, I felt that it was above that on this particular visit. Continue reading “The Sound of Silence”

CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU THIS YEAR

Letter to my Big Bubby:

It has been a little over a year, we lost you November 10th, 2015. It’s going to be another crazy holiday without you because Million Dollar Brother and Baby Sis are moving the week before Christmas. I am hoping that when I get there, everything will be unpacked and put away. 🙂

Continue reading “CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU THIS YEAR”

And So The Dreaded Holiday Season Is Upon Us….Not Numb for This Season

So today is December 1, 2016. It has been one year and 22 days since I last heard my Big Bubby’s voice. There are 24 days until Christmas and we just past Thanksgiving. Now that some things have happened over the last 3 ½ weeks, I have a lot of things to update all of you on. Continue reading “And So The Dreaded Holiday Season Is Upon Us….Not Numb for This Season”

And We Have Arrived At Our Final Destination….

By the heading of my blog today, some might sense this will be about travel. In some ways it will be, but in others it is the destination of the final “first” for my family. This is the day that we were awakened by a phone call and hours of waiting for confirmation that Big Bubby had went home to be with Jesus. I still have a very hard time with the other word, I hardly use it because it has such a finality to it that I can’t bring myself to use it. Continue reading “And We Have Arrived At Our Final Destination….”