My Family My Life My Search For Answers

I am  the mother of three beautiful children and the mother in law to the perfect daughter in law. The photo below is the last picture we have of the four of them together.

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Before 11/10/2015 we were the picture of the American Dream. We had three children, the oldest married, a house, two great jobs, etc. Then one morning, our entire world was turned upside down. Our oldest son, the one on the far right of this picture, was killed in a tragic accident. He was driving to work when his truck broke down in the middle of the highway. It was five in the morning and dark, since it was dark, my son was concerned that someone would not see his truck (his truck was lifted with ranch hand bumpers) and would hit the back of it and be seriously injured or killed. He was always looking out for others safety before his own. On that morning, he was doing exactly what he was known to do, looking out for others and was killed doing it.

Over the months since losing him in November 2015, I have struggled with the loss of all the dreams I saw for him and his wife and struggling with the faith that I have always had in God. The biggest struggle is “why” why did this happen to us? What have we done in our lives that God took our son? The “what if” he would have just left for work five minutes earlier or later?

I hope that this blog will not only help me to come to terms with losing my son but will help others who are in the same place I am.

I saw this saying somewhere recently with no mention of an author and thought for me its what I need to focus on at the moment:

Live Simply

Love Generously

Care Deeply

Speak Kindly

Leave the Rest to God (I am working on this one)

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7 thoughts on “My Family My Life My Search For Answers

  1. Wow! My mom sacrificed her life to save mine on 11/14/09. I don’t have children so I truly don’t know your loss. I can’t tell you how to heal. I can’t tell you that it will be ok (that’s something I hated to hear). I can tell you that with time, support and counseling it does get bit easier. If you think of it as if you’re swimming in a pool, you’re in the deep end treading water right now. You’ll get tired and want to give up, but as soon as the water flows into you, your body starts to fight and kick again. The only thing I can tell you after suffering for going on 7yrs is that you will reach the shallow end of the pool. It just takes time. Please contact me if you ever need anything! I would also like to direct you to my cousins blog @thelifeididntchoose She too lost her adult son only 2yrs ago in an accident. While I’m still on my spiritual journey, my cousin has a deep faith in God. She may be able help you. As
    I said please feel free to contact me anytime. Until then I’ll be sending good vibes your way!
    Renee’
    Lumrobyn@gmail.com

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is brave to share your struggle. I am so sorry about your son. I can’t imagine your grief. I hope you continue to find connection and comfort in the blogging community.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi, I’m back to visit and now I read more about your son’s accident. I’m so very sorry. I did a post with the following quote, a little bit different than yours:

    “The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much, scatter sunshine, forget self, and think of others.” – Norman Vincent Peale from THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING

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  4. Let me first start out by saying that I am so sorry for your loss. As a bereaved mom who has definitely struggled with her own faith this past year, I appreciate everything you are saying. I think I spend more time now trying to understand purpose, meaning, and carrying on than I ever have in my life. I lost my 17 year-old son, Noah, in a car accident in June of 2015. We are still just trying to figure it all out. I look forward to following your journey now that I’ve found you! You are always welcome at our Bleeping Amazing community as well. Many blessings to you and your family this holiday season.

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    1. I have signed up for your newsletter. I am always looking for others who have faltered on their faith when they have lost a child. Your loss is so close to mine, maybe we both can help each other along this journey together. I hope your holidays are blessed and that you find some peace in knowing we will see our kids again one day.

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