Boy that is a great prompt. I can go so many different ways with this. The best way I guess to put this into prospective is to put out there what I now have on my plate:
- New in my life – writing a book about my journey losing my son
- New in 2017 Part I – making a pointed effort to be more in the here and now not live in the past where I was for the last year
- Not New in my life – work – my boss has been more than kind to me over the last year giving me room to grieve and not pushing where he should have been pushing me
- New in 2017 Part II – one of my children will be graduating from Texas Tech in May and moving on to Chiropractic school in September. One of my children being alone for the first time in their life, truly on their own. (Dad will only be 1 1/2 hours away)
All of these are now hitting me at once and I am a bit overwhelmed knowing that I have a lot on my plate in the coming months of 2017. Our organization just finished setting our goals for this coming year. I put very hefty goals out there for me and am a bit afraid I may crash and burn on a couple of them. Although I am afraid of crashing and burning, I need to start living my life again and these would have been obtainable goals for me two years ago before the accident.
Now, I really have to push myself to make decisions and to push my team to make deadlines. Along with this, I am balancing being able to see my kids who are 14 hours away and need their mom in their life physically, not just over the phone or face timing.
As I stated in an earlier post about New Years Resolutions, I am not making those this year as I never end up meeting those. I am setting achievable, somewhat out of reach but achievable, goals for me to meet. Not trying to meet them all at once at the beginning of the year. They are spread throughout the year, but there will be a concerted effort on my part to complete them prior to their due dates. I have always finished projects prior to due dates and the last year, I really struggled with this.
I feel like I am finding my way back to reality. Some days, of course, are foggier than others, but I feel more of myself coming back.
Due to the accident I had back in August, I have been left with a lot of back pain. This has also not helped in the depression arena. I can’t do what I used to do and to ask for help (as those close to me know) doesn’t come easy for me. Relief is on the way, or we hope it is. We are going to be trying steroid injections in my back into two vertebrae to help with the healing process. Again, a first step back to the life I want to live. A crazy, busy, wonderful life, but it is my family’s life and we all love it.