Second Year Down and Counting….

Second Year Down and Counting….

One phone call, three words, and my world changed forever two years/24 months/720 days/17,280 hours/1,036,800 minutes ago. That brings us to today marking my second year without Big Bubby. I will forever remember the call that in a split moment, changed my world forever. Although at the time we didn’t know exactly what had happened, but became all too aware within hours that our precious Big Bubby was gone from our lives forever.

My first year was such a blur with all that I was doing to numb the insurmountable pain that I was trying so desperately to run from, this year has been worse. It was so much easier to stay numb to all of this pain and not care what others thought. To stay numb to the immense pain the loss of a child holds. Waking every morning, only to come to realize it will be another day in hell, another day of feeling the emptiness of Big Bubby being gone, knowing you won’t hear your baby’s voice ever again. Also, waking and knowing, there are people who need you still here on earth and who want to help guide you as easily as possible through this personal hell a mother goes through when you lose a child.

While they are not first’s by date, they are firsts for me in a way.  Continue reading “Second Year Down and Counting….”

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The Sound of Silence

A few weeks ago, my husband and I were out to eat at a restaurant that typically isn’t known for a loud atmosphere. On this night though, to me, it seemed VERY loud. While I know that I am much more sensitive to all my senses now, I felt that it was above that on this particular visit. Continue reading “The Sound of Silence”

POLITICAL RANT FAIR WARNING!!!

POLITICAL RANT FAIR WARNING!!!

OK so I don’t typically get into political debates but for the past few days I have watched as the NFL (men who play for millions of dollars a few days a year) not respect the flag that my husband,Big Bubby, Big Bubby’s Band of Brothers, and all military past, present and future have fought and died for the freedom these “BOYS trying to make a statement against the president” have. Yes, I called a bunch of grown men BOYS! Because that is the way they are acting – VERY CHILDISH!!! Continue reading “POLITICAL RANT FAIR WARNING!!!”

Carnival Triumph – Family Vaca 2017

Sorry for taking a bit to write this one since we have returned….

So I told you all that we were taking a family vacation together for the first time since we lost Big Bubby. The crew included, my husband and I, Million Dollar Brother and Dapper Des, Baby Sis and Red Headed Step Child (need a new name for him, explanation later in post), my close friend from high school who lost her only child a year and three months before Big Bubby (Oklahoma Girl), and my mom (Nana). Continue reading “Carnival Triumph – Family Vaca 2017”

THE INFAMOUS BOOK WRITING….

So, if you have followed me for very long, you know that I am trying to write a book about the last year and a half of my family’s life. I had a conference call with one publisher before we left on our cruise to discuss publishing my book once I get it finished. Which I am not sure how long that will take as each chapter takes on a life of its own and I am constantly reminded to take a break as it is hard to write about what has devastated our family. Continue reading “THE INFAMOUS BOOK WRITING….”